Sleepless Nights

I can't stop looking at you while you stand a few feet from me, in front of the mirror, your back to me, your strikingly distracting face in the mirror while you look yourself over, smoothing out creases from your shirts, so you can be on your way to work. I sit curled up here, on the bed, wishing I could think up something to freeze you there, freeze the day.


You turn and you ask.


"What do you like about this bed?"


I am stumped. You cannot be thinking what I am thinking. That would be too much of a coincidence.


You continue. "When you come back home after a tiring day, and you sit down on it, what is it that you feel?"


Aah. That makes sense.


"Relief. Happiness. I also feel sleepy."


"Except in the nights."


I pretend nonchalance. "Yeah", I say casually, picking up my book to read again.


I am not sleepy in the night, I tell you in my head. You are there every night, inches from me, and I cannot sleep because it is such humongous waste. I will not allow that. Inches from me, your skin glows golden, your eyes are dreamy and all over me and I have this maddening urge to reach out and touch your cheek. Trace my fingertips all the way down to your throat so I can see the shiver running up your spine. I like it that I can do that to you.


I cannot sleep in the night because your hands trace invisible lines on me, paving paths to mind numbing delights that echo in my body all through the next day, that make me stop whatever I am doing so I can allow the throbbing to slow down to a pace that I can stand. I cannot sleep because your mouth draws gasps of painful sweetness from mine. I cannot sleep because I am so empty that I need you to fill me up before I can even imagine a night of peaceful sleep.


I cannot sleep because you body lies entwined with mine, molded to my form, your breathing controlled and in rhyme with mine, while I try hard to not wake the entire neighbourhood.


Of course I love my bed.


You sleep on it.


And I lie awake telling the skies that I would trade a million souls for every sleepless night.